Of the myriad, mismatched jobs I’ve had in my lifetime—trust me on this one, there are some doozies!—the one I kept longest was working at an independently-owned theater with over 500 seats, an actual bug, red curtain that opened before each film, and a proper balcony. Swoon! I did everything from selling tickets dispensed by a cool, old rotary machine to scooping popcorn served with real butter to driving to another indie theater in the middle of the night to borrow really big film reels. And I mean really. big.

A decade and half of cinema life cultivated a taste in me for good popcorn, which can be a bit hard to find in Tokyo, be it at movie theaters or otherwise. It’s almost as if no one cares that it isn’t made fresh. Yes, there is quite a bit of premade popcorn sold at stores in the chips & snacks aisle, but guess how it tastes? Yep. Stale and gross.

So two things: the popcorn I’m making today is a far cry from the really good stuff you can get if you used an industrial popper and ate it fresh, but I’m working in a micro kitchen, so that’s out of the question; annnd a little secret is that you can actually sorta vamp up store~bought popcorn by toasting it in a low temperature oven for about ten to fifteen minutes or so…if you’re craving popcorn with nori or soy sauce or whatnot. Or you’re making Scout’s Super Special Snack Mix, but that’s a recipe for another day.

I will also point out that you can buy microwave popcorn in Japan, but you’ll pay a premium for it, and it’s usually easier to just buy popcorn kernels. Anyway: put some popcorn in a paper bag and microwave it. Bam です. Oh, you want a recipe? Here ya go:

• 3 Tablespoons popcorn kernels
• ¼ teaspoon salt (I’m a fancy chef~type, so I used kosher salt, but you can add more or less of any other kind of salt you have lying around)
• 1 teaspoon neutral oil (optional)

Directions: put all of the ingredients in a small paper bag, fold the top a few times, shake it up, and put it in the microwave for two to three minutes. If you don’t use oil, it’ll be infinitesimally more healthy, but you’ll need to be more careful not to let it burn…and that’s a smell that lingers. If you do use oil, I’d set the bag on a napkin or paper towel when you microwave it, unless you enjoy cleaning cooked oil out of your microwave. The bag won’t look the nicest when you’re done, but that’s getting thrown away, so who cares?

Finally, dump your popcorn into a bowl, season it as you like, and sit down to watch a movie…or write a blog post about it. I usually taste mine and then add extra salt, but that’s up to you. That’s the glory of popcorn! You can also drizzle on some real melted butter—or the fake stuff if that’s what floats your boat. If you want to mix it up, you can try adding either some cracked pepper + oregano + garlic salt for a savory experience or sprinkling cinnamon sugar over your buttered popcorn if you like it sweet. However, I do not recommend putting the sugar in the bag before microwaving in the hopes of making kettle corn or something to that effect…just trust me on that one, too.

If you’ve read this far, leave a comment, and tell me how you like your popcorn. Personally, my favorite is The Cinema [redacted] Special: a drizzle of melted butter, followed by a heavy dusting of nutritional yeast with a touch of Spike seasoning, and then a couple of hands full of peanut M&M’s.

Honestly! When are you going to trust me? (#^.^#)